Our reporter takes a deep breath and counts to 10…inches, that is

“To increase the size of your penis..,” says the soothing female voice ‘internalize the idea in your mind…’ Positive thinking, apparently, is all you need to be as well-hung as the walls of the Louvre. Well, positive thinking and $295—the price of MindQuest’s Penis Enhancement Program, a 12-week tape series created by hypnotherapist Laurie Gregg Straub (the voice, on the tape). Straub believes that self-image, not genetics, determines size, and that hypnosis (“you love your body”) and visualization will prod your pituitary gland to release the hormones Willie needs to become William. Straub claims that most guys add an inch in length after 12 weeks. We listened to the tapes for a few weeks, just to see. We didn’t get any bigger, and all that talk about how “Wonderful” our penises are has really pissed off our girlfriends.

To hear Straub tell you how marvelous your member is. go to www.hypbody.com